When Derek Asmen talks about why he wanted to become a Certified Nursing Assistant, he doesn’t mention certifications or career goals.
He says he wanted to “work with my people.”
It’s a simple answer, but it says a great deal. Caring for others wasn’t a career Derek stumbled into. He discovered it while volunteering at the SPARC day program alongside his sister and serving with the Inclusive Ministry at Christ Church. Those experiences gave him something many people spend years searching for: work that felt meaningful.
Derek is also part of The Arc of Northern Virginia family. His mother, Wendy Asmen, is one of our Public Guardian Representatives. Her story is one example of something we see often among our staff: advocacy isn’t simply a job. For many of the people who work at The Arc of Northern Virginia, it’s something they carry into their lives and communities every day.
For Derek, finding that sense of purpose would take patience, persistence and a great deal of support.
Derek was diagnosed with autism when he was six years old. Like many students on the autism spectrum, he found the traditional public school environment challenging. Eventually, he transferred to a school that better matched the way he learned, with one-on-one instruction and smaller classes. There, he earned a standard high school diploma and began thinking about what came next.
For many people with disabilities, that transition can be one of the hardest parts of the journey. Finishing school is often seen as a finish line, when in reality it’s the beginning of a new set of questions about employment, independence, and finding a place in the community. The path forward is rarely identical from one person to the next, and sometimes success depends less on changing the destination than on finding the right route to get there.
For Derek, that destination was clear. He enrolled in a CNA training program at Thrive Academy, eager to begin the career he had chosen. But the coursework moved quickly, and before long he found himself falling behind. Rather than deciding he wasn’t capable, Derek did something far more difficult.
He asked for more time.
With his mother’s encouragement, Derek met with the owner of Thrive Academy to see if he could step away, spend more time studying and return with the next class. As the family searched for a solution, his aunt suggested asking Derek’s retired uncle, Craig Frisby, for help.
Craig immediately said yes. Then he did something extraordinary.
Instead of simply tutoring Derek, Craig enrolled in the CNA program himself. He wanted to learn the material alongside his nephew so they could tackle every lesson together.
For more than six months, they studied nearly every day, often late into the evening. There were frustrating moments when concepts didn’t seem to stick, and days when progress felt painfully slow. But neither of them treated those moments as failure. They simply kept going.
When Derek returned to the classroom, all of that work became evident. He finished at the top of his class, impressing his instructors and earning a position at a local nursing home even before completing the certification process.
On June 30, Derek and Craig sat for the Virginia State CNA certification exam together. Both passed. Both earned perfect scores. It’s a remarkable achievement, but perhaps not for the reason most people would assume.
Too often, disability stories celebrate someone for defying expectations. This story is different. It isn’t about proving anyone wrong. It’s about what becomes possible when expectations remain high and the supports are right. Derek didn’t need someone to lower the bar. He needed the time, encouragement and partnership to clear it.
That’s a lesson families connected to The Arc of Northern Virginia know well. Independence is rarely built overnight, and it almost never happens alone. It grows through relationships, individualized support and people who are willing to ask, “What would help this person succeed?” instead of, “Can they?”
Today, Derek is doing exactly what he hoped he would do: caring for others, building a career and becoming more independent. His next goal is earning his driver’s license.
If his journey has shown anything, it’s that taking a different path doesn’t mean settling for a smaller destination.
As a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, The Arc of Northern Virginia relies on private support from individuals, corporations, organizations, and foundations to fund our efforts. Your generous donations help make it possible for us to provide programs, services, and advocacy so that people with IDD can live “A Life Like Yours.”
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