Throughout recorded history, masking has been a common part of many Neurodivergent Individual’s Experiences. It has been used as both a strategy and tool for many in that community to survive and make it in a world that is not always designed for them mentally and exponentially. Masking can appear in many different forms. You might not always know when someone is masking. It is always a way for people, particularly those in the Neurodivergent Community to hide their true selves. Those of us in Neurodivergent Community, including those of us who are Autistic do this to make it in the world and avoid rejection or humiliation from others.
Masking can show up in many different forms. Many of these tactics and strategies can always show up in a subtle way. For example as Neurodivergent Insights points out in the following list:
Other strategies that both Autistic and Neurodivergent people could use are pretending to be someone else, pretending to be okay in the moment when they really are not, and constantly trying to figure out how to show up for themselves every day without embarrassing anyone or themselves. Since, we have historically lived in a society that has asked us to conform to its norms without change or adjustment, we are constantly having to figure out ways to be like others without understanding our true selves and identities.
Society has historically been constructed in many ways. That has guided how we view time, how we dress and act towards other people, how we respond to different life situations, how we manage our daily lives, and how we view events going on in the world. For those of us in the Autistic and Neurodivergent Communities those experiences have been different for many good reasons. As a result, many people who are not part of those communities have viewed us through a lens of ableism and misunderstanding. These beliefs and opinions have stemmed from scientific research, guidance in the DSM Series, and expectations of us rising above and outgrowing our Autism or Neurodivergence. What is always true is that those of us who identify with one or both of those communities know that we cannot change our true authentic selves. It is a part of our identity that will always remain true throughout our lives. We are bound and shaped by our Neurodivergence. When living in a society that does not conform to us, we are forced to hide that identity and part of us that we could otherwise be embracing. Supports and Strategies like Applied Behavioral Analysis and certain types of therapy, while good in intention may not be designed to serve all of us. As the National Autistic Society points us in a list below “ Masking is sometimes referred to as ‘camouflaging’, ‘social camouflaging’, ‘compensatory strategies’ and ‘passing’. Research suggests autistic people learn how to mask by observing, analysing and mirroring the behaviours of others – in real life or on TV, in films, books, etc.”
Autistic people have described masking as:
If you really think about it, we are always acting to be someone else. It is a strategy and point of action that all of us in the Neurodivergent Community have had to take up in some way or fashion. Otherwise, we could not have the lives we want. At the same time, we would always desire to live in a world that both accepts and embraces us for our Neurodivergence and unique identities while allowing us to use in institutions and systems that are designed for us.
Those of us specifically in the Autism Community have had to both mask and camouflage to hide our identities and make it seem like we are individuals who can be successful without trouble. Camouflaging is always done in parallel to masking for many people who are autistic. It always appears in the form of invisible masking or shielding towards other people. You may not always realize it when someone is both masking and camouflaging. It can be a great way to make it seem like we understand a situation, or that we are okay when we are really suppressing another part of ourselves that we could otherwise be showing without fear. Camouflaging is a common social strategy where many of us in the Neurodivergent Community read social situations and them conform to them as if we completely understand what is going on. This is always done at the expense of then getting stressed out and having melt downs later for many. For others, this could be not always feeling happy or like we truly belong in the world. It leaves a mark on us that we cannot always erase from ourselves.
Those of us in the Autistic and Neurodivergent Communities have had to mask throughout most of our lives. It can always lead to many in both congruent communities to having many long-term health effects. These health effects can impact many of us and our livelihoods. As The Conversation carefully points out below:
“Masking and camouflaging are linked to:
Yet, without masking and camouflaging many autistic people report experiencing difficulty getting jobs and qualifications or issues with social exclusion. They may even risk verbal and physical assaults.
The consequences of unmasking can be enormous. Disclosing autism can risk permanent residency applications being denied, and may lead to unwanted “treatments”. For autistic people of colour in particular, this can even result in violence from police.
As you take the time to read this, think about how your life actions and words could affect those of us in our communities. Are we really people who are meant to be changed because we do not conform to societal norms? Are they norms and customs that can be changed? We are all human and we are all worthy of respect and dignity in this world. No one ever deserves to live in a world that is making us conform to be a person that does not even exist. In other words, we are forced to be someone that is not us. The person that we are is the one that we are born to be.
As someone who identifies as being both Autistic and Neurodivergent, masking has been a big part of my life throughout it. As a kid and teenager, I masked a lot to succeed in school, extracurricular activities, and in situations where I was with either friends or family. This always involved reciting movie scripts, acting like characters from movies, reading other people’s social cues and copying them, and constantly trying to figure out how best to act without offending anyone. That always led to high anxiety and stress in many situations. I always left feeling worn out and exhausted at the end of the day. Part of my masking was done to avoid people making certain assumptions or conclusions about me and my Autism. At the same time, I would mask to avoid people making the same conclusions or axioms that would not always be true about Autism in any way.
Whenever I was around friends or family as a kid, I often had to put on a different self that allowed me to be more polite and respectful then I naturally was. In other words, I was conforming to the ideals and expectations of the situation. This would always lead me to abandon my identity and what I would normally be in any other life situation when I was not around other people. My identity is that I am always one to be positive and to both help and show up to people in the best possible way. That would include showcasing my neurodivergence without fear of judgment, misunderstanding, or intimidation.
Today, I can still mask sometimes, but I have learned to balance that with being my true self in any life situation. At the same time, I also know that the society I live in today is the one that I have grown up in during the first three decades of the Twenty-First Century. That same society still requires many other people in the communities of autism and neurodivergence to abide and obey by societal rules, norms, and customs that are not inclusive towards our identities and shared experiences. For our world to truly change, we must come together and truly understand one another. That includes speaking to us and carefully understanding us bit by bit, and situation by situation who we truly are and how we best operate. Only then can we truly create institutions, systems, ideas, and laws that can be truly inclusive and welcoming to people of all abilities and minds.
For masking to no longer be needed as a strategy for those of us in the Autistic and Neurodivergent Communities requires all of us to come together and work towards creating a more inclusive society. That includes creating systems and institutions that allow us to feel accepted and welcomed without having to hide any part of our shared identities or experiences. Our lived experiences can appear in how we act in the next important life situation. As the Autism Society of North Carolina points out “Educational settings and workplaces hold particular importance in this transformation. Rather than expecting autistic people to conform to rigid norms, these environments can adapt to welcome diverse communication styles, learning approaches, and ways of working. This might include creating sensory-friendly spaces, implementing flexible accommodation systems, and recognizing the value of different working styles.” This always start with having conversations, understanding who we are and how we best function, thinking about your language use and the decisions you have made, the ways you might be upholding the current system, and how you can be an agent of change to help all of us live in a better world. To effect impactful change starts with creating communities of like-minded people who are all wanting to come together to make a different world possible for all of us. That then continues with going out and spreading your words, beliefs, opinions, ideas, and strategies to people who are in positions of power, leadership, and circles of people who are all working towards the same goals and objectives. We can all make the world a better place step by step. For those of us who are still wondering how to do so, that should always start with you.
To my fellow disability self-advocates, agents of change, those working with and serving the disability community, and to all who want to create a more inclusive world, I thank you for taking the time to read this blog. Your time spent reading this post is powerful and essential towards spreading such content and ideas to others who can meaningfully benefit from it. Our perspectives are always shaped by what we learn and how we best learn such information from others. Change is not always possible when ideas and information are not spread continuously. It can only happen when we choose to act. The time to act is now for many important reasons.
Ryan Hill
The Arc of Northern Virginia
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